1. I once overdosed on brown sugar, and I am not ruling out the possibility of it happening again.
2. I cried for hours when my little goldfish, “Goldie,” died. I never should have cut it into tiny little pieces with scissors.
3. My first kiss was with my dog - it was by accident - and it didn’t end for a good 30 seconds.
4. I used to wear pajamas to bed, before I started wetting my pajamas.
5. OMG!!! I can’t believe how hard it is to think of 25 things GRRRR!!!! :/
6. I used to beat my animals severely. With a metal pipe.
7. I steal money from children and purchase insane amounts of JujuBees with it. Man if you think about it, that’s tragic irony.
8. I posed naked for the FBI’s Most Wanted list one time.
9. I have never told anyone this, but I have a fetish for uncooked leg of lamb.
10. I cheated on my driver’s test while the cop wasn’t looking.
11. Don’t worry, I can make fun of Chinese people. I go to the Peking Wok buffet every week.
12. I used to lick the mirror whenever I splashed toothpaste on it.
13. I have nibbled on dog hairs before. They tasted like dust mixed with old sock. I know I didn’t think it would be good either, but you have to give it a chance.
14. I am scared of carved pumpkins with sharp teeth. But I am not afraid to punch their face in if they look at me.
15. I’m embarrassed to say that I was on a hop scotch team when I was younger, but I was really good, so at the same time, I’m also kind of proud to admit it.
16. I steal my neighbors mail from time to time, but only when it is a flyer from Luke’s Pizza with the 2 for 1 sub special.
17. I dream of one day being the best pornography film director in America.
18. I want to have 7 children. All boys. All Frisbee players.
19. I go fishing in my parents koi pond from time to time.
20. I am timid when it comes to eating baby carrots. If anything, I occasionally nibble.
21. My pregame ritual music is the YMCA song.
22. To kill some time in the doctor’s office, I whistle the theme to The Wizard of Oz in my head over and over.
23. I wear lipstick when I shower to make sure that I clean myself thoroughly.
24. I am scared of calm, quiet cats. There is something I don’t trust about them.
25. I am so glad I have so many close friends. I will share my 25 things with them at bedtime, if they come out from my coloring book tonight.